The view from the outhouse
Saturday March 20
Good morning from Silty Slough
Spring has not sprung at the asylum. I think it is frozen down to the ground. I will go out later and give it a yank. Hope it doesn’t break. That’s where the term spring break must come from. It is 17 below zero this morning. The sun came up right on schedule at 8:01 and is scheduled to set at 8:21. 12:20 of daylight. Until a few days ago I thought today, the equinox, the first day of spring, that night and day would be equal length. I discovered a new term…equilux. Meaning equal light. It occurred here on the 17th and varies by latitude. No Teddy and I didn’t just make this up. Fact check it. Enough seriousness and education. Let’s pick up on the adventure, if you can look at some of the things that happen to me and laugh or say look at that nutcase, I don’t feel so bad after all, you have made my day.
Sunday 14
I woke up an hour later than normal this morning. Don’t know what happened. I don’t set an alarm because Kari is the only one that would hear it and she doesn’t want to get up when I do anyway. I just wake up by my internal body clock.
We are just hanging out waiting for our appointments tomorrow. I spent most of the day running from the hangar loft down the stairs to the printer to try to figure out how to get the drawings that I took out of my head and into the computer out of the computer and onto paper. They are jumping all over the paper, some half on some half off, too small, too big, some not even showing up at all. Finally I decided to take the printer upstairs, what a bright idea. Things are working better now, I’m starting to figure this out.
Monday 15
Kari had her new knee checked and the doctor renewed the warranty for a year. We could go to the cabin today but it is getting late and it is overcast so there will be a lot of blind spots with the flat light. The forecast for tomorrow is sunny and warmer in the afternoon. I’ve heard ducks fart underwater before.
Tuesday 16
Today is the day, headed north. All we need to do at the landing is load a cooler, a couple totes and the boys in their kennel and tie everything down. The sleds are frozen down but a couple jerks with two machines tied together and they are free. You can interpret that a couple ways, but we try not to be jerks. We were fueling our machines and ran into a neighbor from Hewitt Lake. He said the ice road was good so we decided to take it. The narrow sled had the most weight so I was pulling it. Kari had Bigfoot the sled with wider skis. We were both heavy. I don’t know how much the metal roofing weighed in addition to the 1200 pounds of lumber, dogs, and totes we had. We stopped at the turnoff to the crossover trail, Kari said she was pulling hard, very light on the front skis so she had to really ride all the time leaning to steer. She was concerned about the hills coming up. I offered to swap sleds but she thought my sled was even heavier. Ok, press on. My machine is pulling fine, the crossover trail is amazingly pretty smooth. There are two little climbs on it and Kari made both of them. Soon we are dropping down onto the Deshka 7 miles of flat river. We stopped before turning onto the ice road. It starts with a long steady grade. The plan is if Kari can’t make it up I will continue to the top and drop my sled. Then I will come back and tow her up the hill. There is one other spot like this and one that is quite a bit steeper but shorter. Some how she made all three. On the flat trail she could only do about 19 mph at 6000 rpm. In a couple hours we are at Silty Slough. Kari dropped her sled and made a couple passes up and down the trail to the cabin while I let the boys out. We may have to harness them up to get these sleds the last quarter mile. You know the drill by now. Kari hooks to my machine with a short strap and up we go. 1 sled delivered to the cabin. Back down for Bigfoot. Up we go her track is spinning a bit throwing snow at me. I give my machine more throttle and our speed is bleeding off just as we crest the grade on the ramp. Here we come spinning out of the 270 degree turn and up the long crooked grade past Al’s cabin and to the top. We just made it. I told Kari that don’t know how she ever pulled that load with her lighter machine. She just looked at me and said “Skill”. Who am I to argue, “Yes dear”. Get the coolers in so the food doesn’t freeze. The boys are happy to be home. I am too.
Wednesday 17
We waited until about noon for it to warm up. Todays task is to pack and groom the yard then get the sleds unloaded. Tomorrow we are going to make another trip to town for another doctors appointment and more building material. I’m glad we are generally healthy, just trying to keep it that way.
Kari is going to pull a tub sled to pack the snow and I’m going to pull the groomer to level it out. Once you move the snow it will freeze and firm up. Kari asked if I would hook her up to the tub sled full of batteries, ice, and snow. It is heavy and probably frozen down a bit. Usually you can bump it with a ski and it will pop loose. I got her hooked up she can’t shake it. I hooked my machine to hers. Still no moovie. I know, I’ll hook my machine to the tongue with a long strap and give it a quick snap. What is the worst that can happen, I bend the hitch a bit? Here goes, hold my tea. I can’t drink beer, I get mean and want to fight. I give it one quick jerk here comes the hitch and the whole front of the plastic sled following right behind me. Unfortunately the rest of the sled and batteries weren’t ready to accompany us and remained frozen to the ground. Kari and I rolled on the ground laughing. I guess you have to expect some losses in an operation as big as the Silty Slough Asylum.
We laid pallets and the 2x12s down to stack the metal on. Remember all of this is on 3 feet of packed snow. On the 20th when spring is here and it all starts melting…… in your dreams. Anyway it is easier to unload than it was to load and soon the chore is finished, tarped and strapped together for the big thaw.
I can’t talk about dinner now, I don’t remember, maybe it was pork steak. I remember it was really good as usual. I guess I need to take more food pictures Julie and Greg.
Thursday 18
It is a beautiful morning. About zero. The sun is shining and it is looking like a great day for a snow machine ride. We loaded 3 totes of trash and laundry along with the boys in their kennel on my sled. Kari’s sled is empty. The boys are going to spend the night with Roger and Myra while we do a quick trip. Lowe’s called yesterday and let us know the rest of our bathroom fixture order was ready for pickup. We had planned on bringing fuel because it is quick to load but now we are going to bring a new concept to Silty Slough, indoor plumbing. We dropped the boys off sometime after 9:30. When you are suited up it is difficult to look at your phone to check the time. Out the back way past the swamp airstrip, up a steep grade, past the end of Bentalit airstrip, down onto Mud Lake, past Northwoods Lodge and out to the river via Fish Lakes Creek. The river trail is ok today, not as bad as sometimes but not as good as it was on Tuesday when we came up. At milepost 37 we made the turn onto the ice road. We are cruising now 28-30 mph. I’m kicking up a cloud of snow and just catch a wink of Kari’s headlight now and then behind me. She is staying back to stay in the clear air. These iron dogs are picking them up and laying them down. Feels good to be going fast enough to actually have to lean to the inside of the turns. Watch out for moose and any oncoming traffic. The Snow Federation inter galactical convoy shouldn’t be headed south until star-date Saturday. In no time we are making the turn onto the Deshka River. 18 miles on the ice road non stop so time for a short 2 minute break. Kari pulled her rig up beside me and said “I was going 40.” That’s pretty fast to tow a sled, might void the warranty if you hook a ski on something. 7 miles on the Deshka downstream with the current and 7 more to the landing. The trail is still pretty good with a few rough spots. About 2 miles from the turn off onto the crossover trail I saw a couple piles of fresh moose nuggets. Around the next bend there is a cow moose and a yearling in the trail. I’ll stop and wait for Kari since she has the pea shooter. They continued down the trail ahead of us and finally made a turn off the river and up the bank. Interesting to see junior wasn’t doing what mama wanted him to do so she was kicking at him once in a while. I guess moose don’t use time out chairs. The crossover trail was much rougher than it was on Tuesday but it is only a little over 4 miles so the rough ride was over in a few minutes. We joined back up with the river trail and passed milepost 2. Here comes mile 1 and then we are on the boat ramp headed to the parking lot. The remote started the truck to warm it up. It is diesel so it should be warm by the time we get to Wasilla. It isn’t too cold but my bare fingers always get cold undoing the ratchet straps. I looked at my phone and it is only 11:50. We must have made it in two hours or a little less. A new track record even with a moose delay.
At the house we unloaded the truck and changed into normal clothes. On to Lowe’s after a stop for human fuel. They had our order on a cart except for the bathtub. There were two vanities but we had already picked one up last week. I couldn’t remember which one so it was a trip back to the house to check. Back to Lowe’s to get the right one. They missed the bathtub on the initial order so it will have to come up on the barge this summer. Now back to the landing with the first pickup load. We will have another load in the morning. Back at Wolf Lake and bed by 10:30. It’s been a long day. I’m sure glad I’m retired.
Friday 19
I was on the way to the dermatologist this morning after stopping at FedEx and Fred Meyer Fuel to redeem some fuel points. I hadn’t looked at the temperature yet. That would entail pushing the button on the dash to clear the service the airbag, change oil, and caution ice possible message that blocks out the temperature reading. Fred was having a 4 fuel point per dollar special on gift cards so since I need a lot of things from Lowe’s for the build I bought $1500 dollars worth of cards a few days ago. That works out to a dollar a gallon off 210 gallons of fuel. 14% savings at Lowe’s unless you loose the gift cards. I can see why they offer 5% off to use your Lowe’s card. If Biden hadn’t caused the price increase I would have saved another dollar a gallon. It looks like you idiots that voted for him are being well represented. Back to the rest of the story.
I got really cold pumping the two drums of fuel. The last task was to fill my truck with diesel. It will hold 35 gallons if it is really empty so I go ahead and use another 1000 points for a dollar a gallon off. If you only take 20 gallons the points are still gone. I squeezed 32.3 gallons in. It was so full I could barely get the cap on without forcing some out. Talking about being a cheap airline pilot. Squeeze that nickel until the Buffalo poops. On warmer days I would have climbed back up in the truck bed and added the 2.7 gallons of diesel to the barrels of gas that I had already pumped. Today my hands are just too cold so I leave the $2.70 savings on the table and hop back into the truck. I managed to push the button on the dash. It is 4 below zero and I’m in my underwear and slippers. No that’s another story, I’m in street clothes with damp gloves. I could just say 4 below but if I add the zero it makes the reader have more sympathy for my fingers.
I’m warming my fingers with the heater on high blower. I look out and framed perfectly in the windshield is the Krispy Kreme store. I have time before the Doctor for a low pass at the drive through. What the heck I’ll get some to take home to Kari if they make it all the way.
I don’t really need to go to the dermatologist, I just froze the same spots that he is going to while pumping fuel. Everything is good there and he gives me a year warranty before he needs to X-ray my wallet again. Good doctor made me look about a month and a half younger. Must hurry lots to still do. Stop at Pappa Murphy’s for pizza to take for dinner. Load truck, get my boots and snow machine gear, and explain to Kari why there is an empty Krispy Kreme donut box in the truck.
We met Roger at the landing, got all our treasures loaded and strapped down. It wasn’t even too hard getting the two barrels of fuel off the truck onto the sled. Fueled the machines 11.1 gal for the trip in and mine wasn’t completely full when we left the cabin. Suited up and off we go. Not too cold between 10 and 20 degrees. The sunshine feels good. Space command posted earlier today that the convoy to the dilithium crystal mine would be departing home base for Whiskey Bravo. It would be best to be out in front of them.
We turned off the Deshkaand onto the ice road. Too late we are behind the convoy and the trail is very soft. Roger is heavy pulling doubles of fuel. He motioned Kari and I to go around and pack the trail ahead of him. All is well until we caught up with the convoy accompanying the mother ship. The first two snow cats were able to move over enough so we could get around. I was coming to the crest of a fairly steep downgrade and could see half a dozen snow machines stopped in the trail. Must be a problem with the convoy. In about 20 minutes the sleds started moving and we followed. I started down very slow and got near the bottom where everything was stopped again. Roger being heavy barely got stopped at the top. Pretty soon I see Roger heading down toward us with a rope tied to the huge snowcat towing him down the hill. Actually what is happing is the cat is easing down the grade with Roger tied to the blade for his brakes. Otherwise Roger would have passed us like a shot. After another 20 minutes or so we are able to get around the next load. What had happened was they had a high hoe and I don’t mean Kamala, that was too heavy for the steep grade and had to inchworm it down with its bucket. Smooth running now. Myra is watching us on Spot and has the oven preheating to be ready just when we arrive. Be efficient don’t waste propane. Propane is money. I can taste the pizza as we get closer. It is really getting hungry out. When we were stopped waiting on the convoy I was wondering if anyone had ever eaten an unbaked Pappa Murphy’s. I know the cookie dough is good unbaked. Soon we were eating pizza and talking about our day. After our visit we loaded up the boys and headed to Silty Slough. We are light so we made it all the way to the cabin with single machines pulling the sleds. Unload the necessities and leave the rest for tomorrow. Time for a nap.
From the asylum at Silty Slough, stay safe and healthy my friends.
Thank you Lord for safe travels.
I’ll be in touch.
Blue skies!!!
The View from the Outhouse 