The view from the outhouse
Friday January 29
Hello from Silty Slough, Alaska
I’m writing this at 6:24 after laying awake for an hour or so. It is 18 degrees. I can see the full moon high in the western sky through a thin overcast. It hasn’t snowed anymore since I was out grooming yesterday evening. I’m still learning about grooming. To do a really good job the conditions have to be just right. Yesterday there was about 3” of fresh snow on the trail. The groomer is long and designed to shave off the high spots and fill in the low spots. From experience I figured I could do a lot with 3”. Instead the groomer picked up a lot of snow and it spilled over the back. I know I filled in some low spots and probably made some high spots higher. I made two trips the two miles down to Roger’s ramp and could tell the difference. It is hard to turn the big rig around just anywhere so you have to look for a good place. It was snowing and the light was very flat making it difficult to see. I got off in the pucker brush a few times. I’ll have to go back and straighten things up today. I’ll try to get some pictures of the rig and the operator. I’m all bundled up with a new black headsock that covers everything but my eyes. I lost my old headsock at the wood cutting party. If this was sand instead of snow you would think some lady was wearing her berka grooming the desert. I guess she would have been doing that on a camel though.
I mentioned in previous post that our cellular service comes from one lone tower 15 miles west of us on top of Shell Hill, accessible only by helicopter. The next closest tower is back in Willow and out of range. Anchorage is 60 miles as the crow flies and too far. The next one due north of us is over the pole somewhere in Europe. So you can say we are at the end of the line. Internet is available from the satellites but I’m holding out for Elon Musk’s new Starlink system. Our only other means of communication is our SpotX that we carry on the trail for emergencies. Push the button and here they come in the helicopter weather permitting. We can also use it to send and receive limited text to let family know our cell isn’t working. It comes from a weird (i before e except after c, isn’t that weird.)phone number. They think it is spam and just delete it. It is a little better than smoke signals.
Why am I telling you all this? Last night about 8 I was checking on the Kardashian’s. I can’t sleep unless I know they are ok. My cell phone started going from the usual Verizon LTE to roaming to no service to roaming. Usually Kari is on some app and stealing all the signal from our booster. Hers is doing the same. We can’t do anything roaming so our phones are dead in the water. We are isolated, no Facebook, no weather forecast, no texting, no calls…. actually it is sort of nice. We sat down and played a couple games of Rummikube. Not sure of the spelling, it’s dark and I don’t want to get out of bed to look on the box. I’ll just Google it….no cell. After a while you start feeling really isolated. I don’t know if it is not having it or not knowing just when it is going to start working again. Kind of like the dempanic. The good news is that we can delay worrying about what “President by cheating Biden” has done to destroy the country today. No news is good news. The news doesn’t really matter anymore anyway because it is too hard to sort the fly shit out of the pepper.
We can’t check the stock market, can’t do any online banking, can’t email, and if we were dumb enough to play the lottery we couldn’t check for the winning numbers.
Teddy and I were going to tell you about our next money-making adventure but we need Google maps, so that’s on hold.
One thing we have been concerned with is the lack of response from the Trump haters. I think I’m just insignificant or the haters have me blocked. Teddy thinks the Trump haters can’t read and we need to put the view on something like an audio book or get Radio Free Silty Slough cranked up and read the view aloud on the air. Another good idea Teddy, Outhouse Talk Radio. Now that’s some real shit for you Trump haters. All we need is cell service and some sponsors. We should be able to attract a huge audience since most of the Trump haters have their heads so far up their asses they have turned themselves inside out anyway. What do you think?
I’m in a tiz now. I can’t post this view until the cell tower gets repaired. I’m sure Cooper will alert me when the helicopter flies by on the way to Shell Hill. Why would they put a cell tower so far out in the sticks anyway? Short answer Bill Clinton. He decided everyone should have 911 service, so the government spends millions of dollars every year so that a few hundred people can have cell service. Could have issued everyone in the area a satellite phone with unlimited minutes way cheaper with better coverage. How much do you think it costs to make one helicopter trip out here to fuel or repair the system? Thousands.
Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate all you Trump hating liberals having to subsidize cell phone service for me and my neighbors. Thank you.
Looks like the weather is good enough for the helicopter to fly. Until then our primary means of communication is our snow machine so we can talk face to face.
Stay safe and healthy my friends.
Thank you Lord
I’ll be in touch
Blue skies!!!
The cell tower just came back at 4:30 today.
The View from the Outhouse 