The view from the outhouse
Sunday January 3
Good morning from Silty Slough. I knew it was cold when I went outside in my slippers this morning because I could feel the hair on my bare legs freezing… no I guess it was the hairs in my nose. -24 at sunrise 10:24 this morning. We have lost 21 minutes on the length of the night since the 21st. Did you ever notice almost every time you post the temperature someone always has to top it. It’s fun to play games….when you actually have plus 10 post your temp as -23. I guarantee somebody will top you. Really doesn’t matter the thermometers are not circumcised anyway. I mean synchronized. While I was laying in bed this morning I composed a one line poem.
“Shit it’s cold”
The coffee was ready when I came upstairs from my temporary bedroom in the shop. Kari and Jess figured since it was so cold outside I should add a shot of Baileys to their cups so they wouldn’t freeze. I don’t drink coffee, so I missed out. I make it most mornings but have never tasted it. The closest I’ve come is Kahlua.
Roger brought a groomer down last week and did the airstrip and our trails. He left it and I’ve been grooming everything. The trails and strip are smooth and hard as concrete. Last Tuesday we got about 4 inches of wet heavy snow. That evening we were going to take the dogs for a run. Just behind the root cellar a rotten birch tree had fallen across the trail due to the heavy snow. The chainsaws are down at Al’s cabin. Not wanting to walk down there, I held some limbs back and Kari tried to get over the smaller logs. Give it hell Kari. She didn’t quite give it enough hell. The machine jumped the logs and plopped into the thigh deep snow beside the packed trail. Guess we should have walked down and got the saws to start with. It makes a difference walking in heavy boots and winter gear. Much easier to walk in slippers and underwear. Now you see why I don’t get all bundled up to go to the outhouse. I cut enough of the tree to get the machines through and Kari pitched the chunks of wood off the trail, all in the moonlight. How romantic. Kari took the dogs on their run and we left the stuck snow machine and the rest of the tree for tomorrow. Everything is harder in the bush.
Wednesday Kari went to Myra’s for coffee. On the way she jerked the stuck snow machine out with a tow strap, living up to her towing nikname Happy Hooker. I planned to cut the rest of the logs to make the opening the width of the trail while she was gone. It surprised me when the cold saw started. One problem the chain was frozen to the bar from cutting the logs in the snow last night. I took it in the shop, had a break, and let it thaw out. Some say unthaw. Mostly ignorant Trump haters that have never done or produced anything in their lives, but don’t get me started today it’s Sunday.
Kari made it back from Myra’s and we started getting things ready for our weekend guests.
The guest arrived by snow machine Thursday afternoon. Kari and I made a quick trip to the post office to pick up our mail and mail in job applications for Kari, the dogs, and I. We found out we can work for 3 days, quit, and draw unemployment. I love to take advantage of the stupid Democrats programs. The boys and I didn’t get the $600, I guess they made too much money from their student loans.
New Year’s Eve was good, kind of disappointing. I thought when 2020 was over things would be different, so far no change only colder. I didn’t drink very much, a duck fart, a Tiger Woods, and a Baileys. I guess I’m old, struggled to make it to 12:01, that’s 4:01am for a lot of you reading this, then promptly went to bed.
Friday we had a great meal, prime rib, bacon wrapped scallops, garlic mashed potatoes, green beans, and bread. Not bad for being in the frozen wilderness a hundred miles from the grocery store.
Saturday we relaxed and played board games, talked shit about some relatives, friends, and neighbors. Kari and Jess won’t let me post that. They said if it is true it isn’t shit. I went to bed and they kept talking. I left my phone upstairs recording the shit they were talking about me. But that’s ok I was talking shit to Cooper and Teddy downstairs and they agreed with every word.
Our guests planned to go back home this morning. Too cold they are going to stay another day. Good decision. The colder it is the more landmines there are to get you. If anyone has any topics just PM them, we have another day to talk shit.
It warmed right up to -20 at noon. I’ll bet someone can top this. Can you believe we are out of ice cubes. How can you run out of ice at 20 below. Maybe I should set some trays outside or go cut some blocks out of the river with my chainsaw. Spruce Manor will have an ice maker or no more Tiger Woods for you.
From the frozen asylum high above Silty Slough, have a safe, healthy, and happy New Year my friends.
Thank you Lord for a New Year and propane.
I’ll be in touch.
Blue skies!!!
The View from the Outhouse 