The view from the outhouse.
Sunday October 25th
I’ve been working my proverbial tail off ever since Roger dropped me on the island the 13th. 12 days down and 11 to go until Kari gets here. We will know more about that tomorrow when she gets the rest of her staples out. She could have gotten them out last week but since she is bending her knee over 100 degrees in pt the doctor wanted to leave half in another week. It would set the program back if she split the incision open and her new kneecap fell out in the floor.
My first major task when I arrived was to sort out and put away the two boat loads of supplies that Roger had hauled up previously. I spread it out but I would say it took a full day or more. Next task was to pull wires through about 100 feet of conduit to the well. The conduit has been in for several years in anticipation of the well. It’s pretty simple with 2 people, but with just me it was harder than it needed to be. First I couldn’t get the fish tape to go the last few feet from either end. After several tries from each end, it is time for plan B. Bring out the shop vac and hook the hose to one end of the conduit, tie a small piece of cloth to a pull string, feed it into the other end of the conduit, and well-a, success. Now it is simple if one person pulls on the string and another person feeds the 4 wires I need. My dogs are really smart but I can’t for the life of me get them to feed the wire while I pull on the string. What would MacGyver do? Picture this in your mind. The conduit at the well is pointing straight up so I put a 90 degree bend on it and tied another piece of string onto the pull string to reach back to the other end of the conduit. I’m feeding wire with one hand and pulling the string with the other hand and pretty soon the wires appeared at the well. No help from the dogs, they were busy chasing every eagle or airplane that flew over. I hooked everything up and back filled the hole just before the rain started. I’ll hook up the pressure tank in the root cellar and connect the water lines and pressure switch inside the cabin tomorrow. Same basic story installing a thermostat and propane bottles for heating the generator shed. Same actor just different props. Everything takes longer in the bush. I spent one day cleaning up down by Al’s cabin. Roger and I talked about milling more logs for Spruce Manor and he was just getting ready to come over when the chunks of ice started floating down the river. (Picture attached). This doesn’t work well with a jet boat. Ice has been chasing me around for most of my life in boats, planes, cars, trucks, and trailers. You should see a snow machine on ice. Completely out of control, that’s why they aren’t called ice machines. I did a few other deeds that I can’t recall right now to keep busy if anyone is doing an analysis of my productivity. Cooking, vacuuming, and dish washing take up a bit of time. I take the dogs on a run almost every day. No I don’t run, they run, I ride the 4 wheeler. Like they say, if you see me running shoot whatever it is chasing me.
I spent part of one day talking to my financial advisor. I can’t believe the Joe and Blow supporters aren’t worried about their pensions and 401k. We came up with a plan, I wanted to go to all cash until the election gets sorted out. But it’s like flying an airplane, driving a car, running a boat, gentle corrections. Not the zig zag pattern as if someone is shooting at you. So we decided to move to bonds and cash along with stocks of companies that make necessities… liquor, medicine, and soap.
The plan is when Trump wins we are going into stocks of companies that make plywood and tear gas for all the peaceful protests. If the Democrats manage to steal the election we are going to go into all Chinese stocks and Russian natural gas and oil.
I watched the debate the other night. I am very concerned about not having diesel for my generator Did you know propane is LPG liquified petroleum gas? Coal and natural gas are fossil fuels. How are you going to heat your house? I have solar here at my cabin for part of the electricity. That’s solar as in sun. When the sun don’t shine you don’t make any electricity. Oh, get a bunch of batteries either lead acid or lithium, I’m bad that’s mining and they are expensive. The average homeowner won’t have enough money left after Joe’s tax increases to buy enough batteries to run a flash light. How are you going to power your house for a couple days when it is overcast? Truth is we need solar, wind, fossil fuels, and nuclear, all used in balance and properly. Jan 1 I’m applying for a government grant to run a line 60 miles to connect the Silty Slough Electric Co-Op to the grid. I’m thinking about $18 mil, should be a little in there to skim some off to make up what Joe Inc steals from my pension and 401k. If you can’t beat the crooked politicians you need to imitate them. It’s the only way to win at their game.
Back to the outhouse…. I really didn’t mean that. I insulated the generator shed that is attached to the outhouse. Yesterday I cut a couple heat vents so now the outhouse is heated. I can’t tell a big difference since the thermostat is only set at 40 degrees. The high was 36 today. Should feel good when it is 20 below outside. Just as long as Joe leaves me enough propane and diesel. I guess I can always switch to wood. I don’t know what you people in the cities and towns are going to do once Joe’s economy goes to pieces. We can survive out here in the bush. I worry about you. I guess it won’t be Joe’s economy anyway. Peter from South Bend said it was still Obama’s economy that Trump had nothing to do with it. So I guess Joe gets Obama’s economy.
I got off course a little bit, back to the magenta line. That’s airplane lingo. It warmed up today, rain and snow. No ice chunks in the river for now, but later this week the overnight low is forecast to be 3 degrees. Shouldn’t be too long until we make the switch from four wheelers to snow machines.
I type all this on my cell phone and get very few negative comments. I’m disappointed.
Trump haters either:
1 Don’t get it… may be going over their heads.
2 Think I’m a loony tune
3 Don’t care
4 Have their mind already made up and don’t want to be confused by the facts
Maybe I need to take a poll. Vote 1-4
You won’t hurt my feelings. If I don’t like the results, I’ll just manipulate the data.
Data, oh shoot, I left my laptop at a repair place. Can anyone send me a picture of $85 cash so I can pick it up?
I’m late for cocktail hour. Believe it or not I haven’t been drinking, yet today.
Thank you Lord for a rainy cold day!!…it certainly beats the alternative.
I’ll be in touch.
Blue skies!!
Wednesday October 28, 2020
The view from the outhouse.
Wednesday October 28
Cooper woke me up about 6 this morning. I almost said 6am this morning. Notice how people do that. I go to the ATM machine, too. He usually sleeps longer. I went downstairs in my bare feet to let the boys out. I could tell that it was a bit nippy when I stepped from the heated concrete floor of the entryway onto the concrete in my bare feet. The thermometer said 17 degrees. I bribed the boys to come back in rather quickly by offering a chewbie. In a little over 3 hours it will be sunrise at 930. 8 hours and 38 minutes later it will be sunset. The generator is running. I did not expect it to start until this evening. It is clear skies and I should have been able to make all the solar power I use and recharge the batteries to carry me through the day into evening. This should work for the next week of sunny days then it will be back to mostly generator power until March. I plan for it to run a couple hours a day except on days we do laundry it will have to run more because we have an electric dryer. Anyway I will turn the generator off today without fully charging the batteries and let the sun do the job a little later. The boys and I went back to bed. There isn’t much we can or want to do until daylight. I woke up again about 10am in the morning….The boys wanted to go out and patrol the area. No killer ermines, coyotes, or moose I hope. We sure don’t need any coyotes up here dropping off a kid. There isn’t enough room as it is.
I wanted to take a picture of the river but wasn’t dressed yet. So what, there isn’t anyone within a mile or two to the east and it is my guess there is no one north between me and the North Pole. It was chilly but refreshing. I did put on slippers to walk on the crunchy snow. I took a picture of my lower leg and slipper just to prove it. It wouldn’t be appropriate to take a full selfie and post it. I may be considered a pre-vert like some of the Bidens. But I guess a picture or email on a computer doesn’t prove anything anymore. I did have underwear and a tee shirt on, this time. The river has been clear for a couple days. No ice, but today with the low overnight temps it is back. It should increase all week with the low temps at night. Back inside I found out why the generator ran. I left a couple battery chargers plugged in. My fault. When I’m elected mayor of Silty Slough, I’m going to get some subordinates so that I can cash in on this “plausible deniability”. Seems like a handy tool.
I don’t remember what I did Monday. Maybe I hung out in the basement. I don’t have a basement. I guess maybe I hung out in the root cellar. Anyway I didn’t see a soul, kept a lid on it.
Yesterday I ran water lines to the faucets and connected Kari’s new automatic washer. It was easier than it should be. Not often I say that. I tried it out with a couple loads of laundry. With all the dials and settings it is a college level course just to operate it. That was harder than it needed to be.
With all this modernization it is too easy to do things. The well, on demand hot water heater, automatic washer, clothes dryer, heated outhouse just makes it too easy to use too much energy. We really thought about things when we hauled water. No, I’m not ready to give up my new well, but everyone else should unhook theirs and go back to a hand pump if they truly want to solve the energy problems. That is as green as you can get.
Thank you Lord for sunny days!
I’ll be in touch
Blue skies!!!
Thursday October 29, 2020
The view from the outhouse.
Thursday October 29
Hello everyone. I decided to give it a break today. I won’t be talking about Hunter’s laptop, and the low attendance at the Biden rallies, and I voted stickers among other subjects.
As many of you know I am running for the mayor of Silty Slough. I really need to get into a political office so I can make some real money to be able to complete Spruce Manor. If you read the comments on yesterday’s view, you will know that my dog Cooper is going to run against me. I have been trying to think of ways to discredit him, but I can’t come up with anything. He is loyal, loving, obedient, good looking, and on and on. Actually he has better character than most of the candidates running for the national offices. I know for a fact he is smarter than AOC. He doesn’t spend any time golfing, but does like to play catch with his ball. I guess the only reason not to vote for him would be because you don’t like him. But most everyone I know likes him. I know, we need yet another poll. Mayor Don or Mayor Cooper? Maybe we could have campaign rallies. No, he would go round up his pet chickens (spruce hens), ermines, a couple coyotes(4 legged variety), a couple black bears, a squirrel, and a moose or two. I would really be upstaged if he had a couple eagles fly over. Bad idea, I think I should just hide in the root cellar until after the election.
Now to the lighter side. In the past when it gets cold we put an electric heater in the outhouse. Ok, I know this is going by the way in the green new deal. Since heaters don’t play well with solar, the heater is plugged into an outlet that is only powered when the generator is running. It was very nice to time your trips about 45 minutes after the generator started. Frost is melted off the seat, life is good. You could even stand to do a word puzzle or a sudoku at -10 outside.
In a previous view I talked about getting the generator shed heater going and thermostat set at 40 degrees. I have a mechanical louvre for the radiator exhaust. I decided that I wouldn’t need an intake louvre. I didn’t want to waste propane heating the outdoors so I insulated everything and sealed up most of the holes. The generator can still get cooling air around the exhaust pipe from the Perkins Diesel engine. Saving propane, keeping warm, engine starts easy at 40 degrees. Life is good again.
For my next project I cut two vents from the generator shed through the wall to the attached outhouse so the heater would keep it warm. I made one high and one low. The outhouse is really sealed up and insulated so it won’t take too much to heat it. We don’t need the electric heater anymore and have a warm outhouse 24/7. So it seems.
This morning sunrise was 9:32. The boys let me lay around until 10:00 to go out. It is 14 degrees, I’m in my underwear and slippers again. Life is still good, I have a heated outhouse. I went inside, lifted the lid, got my sudoku, very comfortable. The trusty autostart system for the generator sensed the need to charge the batteries. I heard the diesel cranking, wow what a system I have built. Things are finally coming together. The generator starts and a rush of 14 degree air comes in the 4” vent pipes into the toilet hole, up between my legs at about 30 miles an hour, through the vents, past the generator fan through the radiator and out the exhaust louvre. What a rush. I haven’t looked up the wind chill at 14 degrees and 30 miles an hour but I can attest that it is considerable.
After I’m elected mayor I’m going to appoint a commission to study the problem and select an engineering firm to redesign the system. We will have to hire a construction management company to hire contractors and oversee the work. We will have to have a third party inspector to be sure the work is performed properly. This should take a couple years. I could just cut an inlet louvre in the generator shed or just use the outhouse when the generator isn’t running, but the mayor wouldn’t be able to get any kickbacks. I plan to hire a grant writer to get about $700k for the project, but then we will need two more outhouses to comply with the Democrats gender neutral policy, so that cost could triple.
More chunks of ice in the river. I’m going to keep a lid on it and stay in the bunker today.
Stay warm, safe, and healthy my friends. Avoid the Chinese virus, the Spanish flu, the German measles, and Walmart at all cost.
Thank you Lord for another sunny day.
I’ll be in touch.
Blue skies!!!
By the way BobbyRay Howard I attached a picture of the money I owe you for the campaign. Just forward it on to your bank.
Friday October 30, 2020
The view from the outhouse
Friday October 30
It was cool this morning 9 degrees. Lots of ice in the river as the video shows. I waited until the batteries were charged this morning to go to the outhouse. You will know what I mean if you read yesterday’s view. I’m finally thawed out. Some people say unthawed, but wouldn’t that be frozen?
FB puts a message on every other post about how to figure out a method to cast my ballot. We usually vote early, this year we planned to be at the cabin. Early in person voting started October 19th. We planned on being at the cabin before then so we requested a 45 day advance ballot by mail to be sent to our small condo #45 at the Skwentna Post Office. It arrived from Anchorage by mail plane at the Skwentna Airport. The postmaster met the plane and took it across the river to the office by boat. Kari’s knee surgery changed the schedule for our being at the cabin. Our friend and neighbor Roger Phillips went 7 miles to the post office by boat and picked up our mail. Our neighbor Craig Emery flew the dogs and I out to Bentalit airstrip. Roger brought the ballot a couple miles on his side by side to meet us. I voted and Craig flew the ballot back to Kari. She drove our ballots to the post office and mailed them to Fairbanks to be counted. If I can vote anyone should be able to vote, on time. It is called planning ahead. Election Day is November 10. A Federal Judge doesn’t need to extend it or give you extra time to vote. If you are in the military overseas that is a different story, you should have different rules for casting your ballot, since you are serving our country. No argument about that. The only draw back to my early voting is, I didn’t get an “I voted” sticker. I know I voted. I see people whining on FB they didn’t get a sticker, is this the biggest thing in their life. So high school. I guess everyone needs a participation trophy. Where are you going to wear it anyway the Walmart?
Cooper brought in a dead squirrel today to vote here in the local mayoral election. If that isn’t bad enough he tried to get a couple of his toy squirrels and a toy duck to be able to vote for him. I sure hope he isn’t turning Democrat on me. I don’t know how I could explain it to my friends. I rather he would be gay. Are dogs gay?
I brought 6 big bags of candy out for Halloween. I’m not planning on any trick or treaters so I have eaten most of it. That’s what Halloween is for anyway, isn’t it? I woke up early this morning and looked up at Kari’s black bear rug that is on the ceiling. In the dark it looked just like the “Grimm Reaper”. I normally wouldn’t think of the Grimm Reaper but the night before Kari’s knee surgery Teddy woke Kari up growling. She said she looked over and right there was the Reaper. She said it was ok though cause he was on my side of the bed.
The boys and I went down across the island and checked the ice in the river. It won’t be long. I’m a little concerned that the ice may jamb up and raise the river enough to flow through Silty Slough and flood the airstrip. That would be a problem. If the plane can’t land the only way Kari can get here until probably sometime in December is by helicopter. Wouldn’t be so bad but she is bringing ice cream.
Life is good in Silty Slough. I’ve never been completely by my self for this long. The boys are good company, we have some great conversations. Once in a while someone will text or call. I talk to Kari several times a day. The closest neighbor is about a mile or so down the river. There is no trail so right now no way to get there. Come to think of it though, me, the two dogs, two cats, and any other creatures Cooper drags in to vote, have as many in attendance as a Biden rally.
I’ve been eating good not well. There is a difference. I’ve had steak, pork chops, eggs, Caesar salad, BLTs minus the T, hot dogs, grilled cheese, potatoes, a couple apples, cottage cheese, and a little bit of Halloween candy. I’m out of lettuce, tomatoes, and fresh eggs.
I saw a good recipe for tomato soup today. I may have that tonight. Tomatoe juice, salt, celery, hot sauce, Worcestershire sauce, pepper, vodka. I think I will serve it over ice like Vichyssoise.
Everyone stay safe and healthy!! Avoid Walmart at all cost. You might as well write a check and send it directly to China.
Thank you Lord for watching over us.
I’ll be in touch.
Blue skies!!!
Saturday October 31, 2020
The view from the outhouse
Saturday October 31
The boys and I woke up to 7 degrees this morning at Silty Slough. There are some big happenings in the race for mayor. Earlier I suppressed the news that our dog Teddy Bear… Cooper’s nephew lost in the primary election. Overnight the polls have turned on me and there is a good chance that Cooper may win and derail my money train. I have come up with another plan. Teddy is going to run as a write in candidate. That’s what Alaskans do when they loose in their party’s primary. This will be simple, Teddy Bear is a lot easier to spell than Lisa Murkowsky. I will be withdrawing and joining Teddy on the ticket as vice-mayor. I am very qualified because I have a lot of vices. Teddy is very electable, he is a luv. He would be a very good politician, he barks a lot without knowing what he is barking about. Teddy doesn’t like to get his paws wet or dirty and he stays inside the bunker with me when it is cold or rainy.
He has absolutely no interest in politics, so within a month after the election he will resign and I will be in complete control of the swamp..I mean the slough. Forgot what I was saying for a second or two. The money train will be back on the tracks in no time. Teddies only interest is food. He eats everything. I guess eats is a loose term. He swallows everything without even tasting it. Like a politician the little guy will take your hand off to get even a tiny morsel. Cooper is much more refined. He is gentle and chews his food. He does burp out loud however without saying excuse me.
Even though Teddy eats everything in sight he stays fit, slim, and trim. My next scam may be a weight loss plan that includes duck wrapped apple slices and copious amounts of cat shit. Didn’t Opra have some sort of scam like that? I was trying to come up with a campaign slogan for Ted and I. I don’t think I want to use Ted or Teddy, that could link us to the Kennedys. The only thing I can come up with on short notice is…Dumb and Dumber but that would insult Teddy. Maybe Too Smart and Not Too Smart. Please send in your suggestions. We will have another poll. I think I just figured out where the term Joe Blow came from, no that originated way before them.
I hear from folks that they aren’t going to vote for Trump because they “just don’t like him” or Trump is going to “take away Social Security”.
I don’t know about you but I’ve been getting a raise every year. Don’t vote away your paycheck, your pension, or maybe even your job just because you don’t like the guy. You can’t help your family or anybody else very much with less money. This isn’t a vote for Homecoming King.
If Joe is elected Kamala will be president within months. Those wheels are already in motion. I ask you when you go to church tomorrow are you thinking about voting for the party that advocates killing unborn babies on Tuesday? Is Kamala the role model you want for your daughters and granddaughters?
I wish you health and safety my friends.
Thank you Lord for your many blessings.
I’ll be in touch.
Blue skies!!!
Monday November 2, 2020
The view from the outhouse
Monday November 2
I went outside about 9 this morning. One of the mayoral candidates needed to go to the bathroom. It was 10 degrees and the wind was blowing about 15 mph out of the north. Still in my underwear and slippers I stood and looked at the river a few minutes trying to decide if the current has slowed down. I’m trying to toughen up for the hard times that may be coming. Today I have made one lap around the sun since I had heart surgery. I’m thankful that I’m still here. I feel great and am way stronger than a year ago. Those arm curls at 5pm are shaping me up. They also sharpen me up. I get a lot smarter. Just ask Teddy.
It was posted that the ice has stopped moving 8 miles downriver and again about 16 miles down from here. It shouldn’t be much longer before it stops here. We need some colder temperatures and snow before we can safely ride our snow machines on the river to get back to town. First trip will probably be 5 miles upriver to the post office, probably shortly after Thanksgiving. The next trip will be over to the other side of the river to one of the lodges for a Christmas party. In January it will be time to start freighting building material out here for the summer. We will also haul diesel, propane, and gas to last us until next January. Kari will have a long list of groceries and supplies to restock the pantry shelves.
Now is a slow time at Silty Slough. As soon as we get a little more snow we can ride the trails around the property and on the state land. 2 or 3 miles of trails in all and they end up back at the cabin.
Kari called and said she is flying out tomorrow instead of Wednesday, wind and weather permitting. I had planned on cleaning the place up tomorrow but I guess I’ll get with it today. Why do it early and just have to do it again. She is sharing a ride with Myra so they will be stopping at Bentalit strip to drop her off. Then they will fly 2 miles farther west and drop Kari off at Silty Slough. I can still drive the 4 wheeler and wagon down to meet the plane and haul everything back to the cabin.
I only have 4 or 5 small projects left on my to do list. Kari is bringing some parts I need. I will knock those out at my leisure.
Teddy and Cooper the two Silty Slough candidates for mayor are outside rolling in the snow having yet another debate. Quite a tussle. Cooper outweighs Teddy by 12-14 pounds but Ted is tough and holds his own. The next time I’m close to a tape measure I need to measure Cooper’s height at the shoulder. If he is over 18” he will loose his mini status and will no longer be a “Mini Cooper”.
Cooper’s dad Remy was best of breed the first year Mini American Shepherds were recognized at Wimbledon…. no Westminster, different election…lost my head a minute. Remy is also Teddy’s grandfather. That makes Cooper Teddy’s uncle. Man do we have the nepotism here in Silty Slough politics.
Well tomorrow is the big day.
If Trump wins please all you Trump haters don’t defriend me. How would I be able to poke sticks in your cages.
If Blow wins I’ve been thinking where I would like to live. I don’t like the food in Canada, Germany seems to be screwed up, Australia has to many creatures that can kill you, Japan may be ok.. they are used to wearing masks already and I like sushi. Too much of Hollywood has already moved to Greece, so it will be ruined in no time. Maybe I can move to a socialist country, crack the code, then move back and take advantage of all the fools that started this. Right now I’m stuck right here in Silty Slough. There are a lot worse places I can name. I could use a big screen TV for movies in the addition in case any of you come up with any extra from the riots and looting. I can send a picture of the cash. How ever much you want.
Stay safe and healthy my friends.
Thank you Lord for another lap.
I’ll be in touch.
Blue skies!!!
Wednesday November 4, 2020
The view from the outhouse
Wednesday November 4
3 below zero at Silty Slough this morning,skies are blue, and the wind is calm. I must say it didn’t take too long to shake the dew off the lilly, if you know what I mean. The boys didn’t stay out long either, didn’t even have to bribe them with a chewbie to come back inside.
Yesterday after I figured out the airport wasn’t going to be flooded by an ice jamb on the river I had about 48 minutes to get the cabin cleaned up before Kari is scheduled to arrive. Dishes to do, bed to make, vacuum up the pet hair, take out the trash. It was very stressful. The boys started helping me with the dishes, they washed and I dried. I hurriedly made the bed, not a sterling job but good enough. Kari texted that they are airborne, early of course. I’m really in a hurry now, vacuum is plugged with hair, that takes precious extra minutes to clean out. I get it going, sheet is hanging off my bed. It gets caught in the power head and rips the covers off the bed. Reminds me the time I got a garden hose in the snow blower and the time I got a garden hose in the bush hog. Giant weed eater, huge. The dogs don’t like the vacuum so they were on the bed which is a brand new air mattress. With everything flying around the cats get scared and jump on the bed too. The dogs didn’t like the cats on their bed so all 4 roll up in a ball. With the weather we haven’t been spending much time outside so all of our claws are long. You guessed it they poke a hole in the air mattress. In all the commotion, I forgot the sink running. It is running over the counter and down the stairway. I’m glad we have a well, otherwise I would have been pissed about wasting water that we had to haul. I threw the vacuum and the covers in the closet. Folded up the air mattress since it was deflated now anyway and managed to mop up the water and get down to the slough just as the plane was landing. Kari had a pretty good jag of stuff but we managed to get it up to the cabin in one trailer load. She is getting around good with her new knee. When we got everything unloaded she managed to make it upstairs to inspect everything. Her only comment was, “You left your iced tea glass on the counter”. Other than that not much happened at Silty Slough on Tuesday. Welcome home Kari.
Stay safe and healthy, my friends.
Thank you Lord for watching out for the helpless.
I’ll be in touch
Blue skies!!!
The View from the Outhouse 